Three Year Old Crosses the Street!

Posted on June 4, 2011 by Anne

She wasn’t even four years old and she was ready to cross the street by herself.

I stood in the kitchen so that I couldn’t see her. With complete concentration, I “saw” her stop at the curb, look both ways and then safely cross over to the other side.

It was a moment of triumph!

My daughter and I had been practicing for this event. We had crossed the street together many times to visit friends in our quiet neighborhood.

Always, I would tell her what the next step was before we continued. Then, working backwards, I began to let her do it alone.

First, she crossed alone as I waited at the curb after we had stopped and looked.

Next, I stood outside by the door and observed her walk across the lawn, stop, look and cross.

The last step, before my self-imposed isolation in the kitchen was to peer through the window and see that she did it perfectly.

Yes, a part of me was anxious that I was allowing my small, precious daughter to do this dangerous act alone. But I KNEW she was ready and I KNEW she would succeed. And I wanted her to experience the feeling of accomplishment and freedom that crossing the road alone would give her

Today she is a confident, accomplished young woman who loves challenge and strives for success at whatever she does.  And she is still our daughter and part of our lives.

All it took from me was to be her teacher, believe in her abilities and encourage her independence.

Yes, it took courage, but how else do we impart that quality if we don’t demonstrate it ourselves?  I have fears, but I was determined that I would not teach them to her.

Yes, it was difficult to let her go on her own, but children need to learn independence, so that they may freely live a life of their own design. It is their primary “job” and it begins at the moment of birth. Growing up is then a series of separations. Each independent act leads them closer to maturity and self-sufficiency.

Someone once said that any time you do something for a child that they are capable of doing for themselves, you do them a disservice.

We can help our children be their best by being our best for them.

By the way, she is also kind to spiders!

 

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Learning to Fly!

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Anne

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

Have you ever watched a chick or other bird hatch from an egg?

It’s extremely hard work. Perhaps, surprisingly, it takes considerably longer to get out of an egg from the inside than it takes to crack an egg from the outside.

The bird must work for hours; taking breaks to restore its energy and then resuming the task. Eventually, the baby emerges wet, exhausted and totally helpless. Soon enough it dries, its feathers fluff and it begins to move and eat. And eat and eat and eat, in preparation for its ultimate metamorphosis into a flying creature.

There is much for us to learn from the birds. Just as birds are meant to fly, we are meant to soar by being our best selves.

How often do we remain in our egg, where it is comfortable and familiar, yet limiting? Are we unwilling to do the hard work of hatching into a new existence that brings us closer to our potential?

Are we waiting for a person or event to help us out of our egg?

Like the chick, whose parents do not assist them from outside the egg, we are responsible for doing the work ourselves. Perhaps the work of hatching gives the chick the strength it needs to survive the next part of their life.

Likewise, we are solely responsible for doing the work that will take us to the next phase of our journey. If we wait for someone or something to do it for us, we will rot inside our egg. We will never be able to fly.

Yes, it is hard, even exhausting, work. It can take a long time. We need to stop and rest and then continue the work. Then, suddenly it seems, we have broken free of our confining beliefs and habits. We are ready to be helped by others who understand and appreciate our destiny and will feed us with their experience and knowledge. As they do, we grow and become stronger.

When we are ready to fly, our mentors may find it necessary to nudge or even push us from the nest; our new comfortable, but confining space. We may go into free fall at the first plunge from the nest. But we quickly realize we have what we need, we use our new knowledge and WE FLY!

Are you doing what it takes to learn to fly? Or are you choosing to stay inside your egg or remain comfortable and cared for in your nest?

Choose to soar. It’s what you’re meant to do.

 

 

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Part 2: Our Week in the Woods (And what we learned.)

Posted on May 26, 2011 by Anne

Monday. What we will miss living in the woods.

Our families, pets and best friends; video games, cell phones and other electronics; showers, bathrooms, and our warm beds; favorite foods and drinks; being taken care of by others.

Friday. What we learned.

Our family is the people we are with who care about us and help us. This week our family was the fourteen in our group, six girls, six boys and two adults.

“We are the best group ever!”

“We don’t really need all that electronic stuff.”

“You can live simply and be content.”

“Attitude. I’m lazy at home, but it feels good to work and help.”

“I shouldn’t be so spoiled.”

“The rain isn’t so bad.”

“There are many people in the world who would like to have our tent to live in.”

“If no one does it, we don’t go anywhere.” (See Part 1)

We collected, cut and chopped wood. We cooked all of our food and cleaned up afterwards. We fed ourselves and it was some of the best food we’ve ever eaten.

We overcame fear by accepting and completing physical challenges like crossing the gulch on a cable and walking a barn beam thirty feet in the air.

We worked as a team to find solutions to group challenges.

We learned about nature and being respectful of all that lives in the woods. We did this by observing the animals and plants around us, learning their names and the way they live and minimizing our impact on the environment.

We studied the history of the people who were here before us.

We have new friends and more confidence in our ability to accept and celebrate differences in others.

We practiced compassion, sharing and trust.

We learned that we can live well with very little.

We are capable of more than we ever imagined.

We are grateful for all we have.

 

 

 

 

 

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Our Week in the Woods (And how we got there!)

Posted on May 17, 2011 by Anne

Our campsite was at the end of a 3/4 mile long, muddy path. At the beginning of the week, we had to get our packs with all of our personal gear, as well as two heavy wooden crates and a five gallon jug of water, out to the site. The twelve sixth grade students in our group were excited about this five day adventure and were eager to get to their campsite and set up camp. So they unanimously voted to do it all in one trip.

 

I doubt any of them had actually carried the packs that their parents had organized for them until it was time to make the hike. Much help was needed, including adjusting straps and rearranging various items that were attached to the packs with bungee cords.

 

Quickly, they decided that two trips would be better. Those packs, which included sleeping bags and pads, clothes and personal items, were heavy! I’m sure that some of the students weighed less than their packs.

 

We arrived at our campsite, set up the tents, which were, thankfully, already there and then headed back to pick up the rest of the things we’d need for the week. Included were tools for cutting firewood, pots and utensils for cooking and cleaning, dishes, food, water and a “bathroom kit”. (A folding shovel and toilet paper.)

 

The crates and water jug were slung on long poles so that at least two people could easily carry them. More often it was four to six people each. Others carried smaller crates with food.

 

It wasn’t long before the heavy loads needed to be set down so that others could take a turn. We stopped often and decided on a couple spots along the trail where we would wait for everyone to catch up. This became our pattern for the week.

 

We made the round trip between the campsite and “town”, where the students participated in various activities, at least once a day. We always had our daypacks with extra clothes and water bottles with us and had to haul back more water and food every day.

 

There were times when, after taking a rest at one of the designated spots, no one was interested in taking a turn with the heavy items.  The camp counselor and I would wait, encourage and take turns ourselves, if needed. Eventually, enough students would step up, hoist the weight and we would again be on our way.

 

At the end of the week, when the children were sharing what they had learned from their  week in the woods, one of the boys said, “If no one does it, we don’t go anywhere.”

 

Think of how many situations there are in our daily lives to which his statement applies.

We are all responsible for moving things forward, whether in our family, our job or other social groups. Even in our community or our country. Any situation where progress needs to be made, needs someone to do it. Otherwise, it just won’t get done and we stay in the same place where we started.

 

Where do we want to go? Are we waiting for someone else to carry the weight? Are we expecting others to carry the load to reach our goals, or are we stepping up and helping to make it happen?

 

 

 

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“I Told You I’d Do It!”

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Anne

 

My earliest lesson in the power of intention came from a small boy.

I was a teenager working my summer job teaching swimming lessons. Eric was one of my six year old beginner swimmers. Eric loved being in the water, but was being held back in his lessons by his inability to float. The problem wasn’t putting his face in the water, which is often the case for new swimmers. He just couldn’t give up being in touch with the bottom.

The lessons were given at a small man-made lake, so there was a gradual increase in water depth. In very shallow water, I worked with Eric every day to do a float on his stomach, which is an important step towards learning to move through the water. We tried everything. He would push off from his knees with his arms outstretched. I would support him underneath with my hands. His classmates encouraged him and demonstrated their floating abilities. But, just as it seemed he would be successful, an arm or leg would make contact with the sandy bottom and there he would be, suspended, but still attached to the earth and definitely not floating.

I don’t remember that he ever complained or was unwilling to give it another try, but I was beginning to think he wouldn’t ever get over this hurdle. His excuse for failure seemed to be that he was only six years old, as he would often respond to my frustration by saying, “I’ll do it when I’m seven.”

Then one day, Eric arrived for his lesson, ran into the water, threw himself forward and floated! I can still see him when he came up sputtering, rubbing the water from his eyes, his thin, tanned body glistening in the sun. I was astounded!

“Eric! You did it!” It must have been obvious to him that I didn’t expect what had just happened. I’m sure my mouth must have been hanging open and my eyes wide.

He looked at me and quietly said, “I TOLD you I’d do it when I was seven. Today I am seven.”

Amazing!  A six, soon to be seven, year old boy set himself a goal, with a date for achieving it and then HE DID IT!

Could it be any simpler?

 

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The Blame Game

Posted on March 29, 2011 by Anne

Blame: a way to discharge pain and comfort.

I read that somewhere recently; my apologies for not giving proper credit to whomever is due. It resonated with me and I am grateful for discovering these words of wisdom.

Two years ago this spring, we had monsoon weather in New England. It rained nearly continuously for weeks. This caused many people a considerable amount of angst and I am not being melodramatic with the word. It was THE main topic of conversation. Seemed most wanted someone to blame for the inclement weather that was preventing them from the long awaited opportunity to experience being outdoors after a  Maine winter. It certainly wasn’t THEIR fault that they couldn’t go biking or plant the garden.

Apparently, it was the fault of the local weather forecasters. It was said that one of them had even received death threats! If the beginning quote is true, I suppose those people were able to discharge some of their frustration and pain by dumping it on the messengers.

Several years ago, I made a decision to no longer whine about the weather. It is clearly something that no one, even the forecasters, can control and I saw a way to reduce some stress in my life by merely accepting and making the most of whatever weather arrived.

As a result of that decision, I have learned to see the beauty in all types of weather, from the sultry, still days of summer with the sudden violence of a thunderstorm to the raging maelstrom of a blizzard followed by the muffled whiteness of the new snowfall. Mark Twain said that there is no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing!

So during that wet spring, I was ready to accept the beauty of downpours that were so intense that I would simply stop and experience the noise that drowned out everything. Even  thoughts of other matters were driven away and I felt completely present and grounded by the sheer force of what nature was giving.

And I was grateful for having a dry place to be while I watched a wet and miserable fox anxiously skirting my house; perhaps looking for a dry den that no longer existed. It became a time of introspection and peace for me; a giving up of my agenda, knowing that not only did I have no control, but that no one was to blame.

I think I was the happiest person I knew that spring and I didn’t hide my feelings. Certainly people must have thought I had gone insane to enjoy weather that was clearly so hideous to them. How sad that so many not only blamed in an attempt to discharge their pain, but they, unknowingly gave up their comfort at the same time.

If you want to stop playing the game, I suggest that accepting the weather is an easy place to start. Then you can move on to the more challenging situations where you feel you’ve been wronged by another person or group of people. I admit that I am still working on this and and I am most likely these days to place blame on people and institutions of power, especially when I feel powerless. It’s a big challenge, but slowly I am working to consciously disengage from the game.

Playing the blame game doesn’t really create comfort, does it? Only acceptance for what IS can truly bring us comfort and peace. That and being the happiest person you can be!

 

 

 

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“He made it! Oh, my God, he did!”

Posted on March 13, 2011 by Anne

“He made it! Oh, my God, he did!”
This is a quote from one of my favorite novels, Time and Again, by Jack Finney.

The main character, Si Morley had just succeeded in traveling back in time, from the mid twentieth century to the early 1880s.

Unlike many other time travel stories, there was no machine involved; no accidental trip onto the time warp continuum.
Si made the trip purposefully, using his mind and Einstein’s view on time.

To quote again from the book, “…we’re mistaken in our conception of what the past, present and future really are. We think the past is gone, the future hasn’t yet happened and that only the present exists. (Einstein).. said we’re like people in a boat without oars drifting along a winding river. Around us we see only the present. We can’t see the past, back in the bends and curves behind us. But it’s there.”

Si makes the journey back in time by severing all the “threads” that connect him to the present he is experiencing. He takes up residence in the Dakota across from Central Park because both the building and the view are essentially unchanged from the desired time destination.

Anything that has since changed has been restored to its nineteenth century state. Si wears the clothing of the time, learns all that was currently happening then and adopts a lifestyle typical of the time. Even the coins in his pocket are from the past.

With hypnotic suggestion to help him forget about what he considers the present time, Si succeeds in stepping into 1882 New York.

This premise is what fascinated me when I first read the book and still does today.
I enjoy the feeling of time travel whenever I visit historical attractions, complete with people playing the parts of citizens of the time. Places like Historic Williamsburg or Living History Farm in Des Moines, Iowa, where, as a volunteer, I even was able to BE one of the re-enactors!

Time and Again is about traveling to the past. Why not travel the other way? If the past stills exists, doesn’t the future coexist with the present, too? It’s just around the bend of the river ahead. We can’t see it yet, but it’s there and we WILL know it.

Isn’t there something to be learned here about how we approach our future? Without skipping ahead from the present, aren’t we able to create our future by visualizing what it will be?

Far too often, I see my future as just more of the same as my present. By limiting my vision, I limit my future. Guess what? I get more of the same.

Si moved to where he wanted to be by visualizing the destination, down to the minutest detail. He took control of his thoughts, knew exactly where he was going and…

“He made it! Oh, my God, he did!”

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Sometimes I Feel Like a Fraud!

Posted on March 6, 2011 by Anne

It’s like I have a terrible secret. One that I often refuse to acknowledge even to myself.

Today I have decided to admit it.
I do this not only to come clean with all of you, but, even more importantly, to be honest with ME!

So here it is.

I am inspired by the power of my “mind” to control my destiny. I am excited by the “idea” that “Thoughts Become Things”. I have even experienced the power of intention.

BUT…only in relatively small ways.

In my previous post (“Get what you WANT. I did!”), I relate the story of how I acquired what I wanted, not once, but three times. However, I was talking about a camera.

It’s true that soon after I taped a photo of the sailboat that my husband had been dreaming about on the bathroom mirror, we came to OWN that boat.

When I was searching for an answer to my husband’s poor sleep and the expected decline in his health and our relationship as a result, the answer came in the most unexpected way; a new business venture. The results were so miraculous that I gave up a business of over twenty years to share it with others.

All good stuff, right?

So why do I feel like a fraud?

Because I do NOT yet have control of my life.
I am NOT yet a master of my thoughts, therefore I am NOT yet able to manifest all that I want.

BUT, the key word is YET!

Here is some of what I want.

I want to make a profound difference for family, community, country and the world.
I want to feel powerful in my ability to make a difference.
I want to experience my power in loving, positive and constructive ways.
I want to experience the joy that comes from knowing I matter.

So I am a fraud because I am still a student, not a master.

So… I am asking all of you to share with me where you are on your path to self-fulfillment.

What have you learned? How? From whom? how do you put what you’ve learned into practice?

Please leave your comments on my blog so that ALL may learn from you!
I suspect that we are all still students and we are all still learning.

Thanks for listening and for sharing.

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Get what you WANT. I did!

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Anne

Most of you have probably experienced the power of intention. If so, my story will not be surprising. What makes it unique is I received MORE than I wanted.

Since I first heard about the Law of Attraction several years ago, I have been learning that when my thoughts and feelings are about what my life IS, I get more of the same. Change happens when I focus instead on what I want my life to BE.

“Practice” is the important word here. Anything that we practice with the intention of improvement will eventually produce better results. With practice, what I HAVE is becoming more aligned with what I WANT.

When my son showed me his new video camera, I decided to get one for myself.
Since the retail price was more than I wanted to spend, I bought one from a popular online auction site. It was brand new and cost me considerably less than retail.

Simple example of deciding what you want and just getting it, right?

Honestly, I didn’t think much about it, either.

What happened next was more interesting. Turns out my husband had purchased the same camera for my upcoming birthday. This seemed to be no more than a thoughtful gift, as he had seen me admiring our son’s camera. Since I didn’t need two, we decided to give one of the cameras to our daughter for Christmas.

Still not a particularly remarkable story, right? Here’s the part that really caught my attention.

Two weeks before Christmas, I went to one of those early Sunday morning promotional events for “preferred customers only” at an office supply store. The coupon they had sent me was too good to pass up. After all, I AM frugal!

Along with the coupon and some small promotional gifts, there was an opportunity to enter a raffle. When I saw that one of the prizes was the very same camera that I had already received twice, I had the odd feeling of being the observer of something that I had put into motion.

When I asked the store manager if I needed to be present to win, she said, “No, we’ll call you.” My immediate, virtually unbidden, thought was, “Yes, you WILL be calling me.”

So it came as no surprise when I finished my other errands and returned home a few hours later to find a message on my answering machine informing me that I had won a prize in the raffle. In the briefest moment before the caller told me which of the three prizes was now mine, I KNEW it was the camera!

What a feeling of accomplishment! I had made something happen three times instead of just once. Immediately, I informed the universe that I didn’t want any more of these cameras! It had never occurred to me that I might have to turn OFF what I had turned ON.

Experiencing the abundance that is possible just by ASKING and KNOWING you will receive was both exhilarating and empowering.

By the way, I’m still practicing!

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FEELING OVERWHELMED?

Posted on September 26, 2010 by Anne

Feeling overwhelmed creates much stress!

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, you most likely experience feeling overwhelmed at least once in a while.

Perhaps often.

Hopefully, not all the time!

You may find yourself wondering how you can possibly fit everything into your day that needs to be done.

First of all, you probably won’t get it all done today, so let go of that expectation and focus on one item that is a priority.

Pick something that truly must be done today. Or pick something that is bothering you the most because it needs to be done.

Then do that one thing.

Feel better? Even just a bit better?

Good! Now pick another one thing.

You will likely feel slightly better.

It is amazing how much better you will feel and how much you will actually be able to get done by focusing on one thing rather than the entire list. THAT’S why you’re overwhelmed!

Try to ignore the forest and just cut down one tree…at a time.

Soon the forest will be much smaller and you will feel much better.

Oh, and don’t forget to reward yourself. Make taking care of YOU and creating a space in your day that is just for fun or relaxation is top priority!

I hope you find this will work well to diminish your feeling of being overwhelmed.
Do you have other ways that you use to reduce your stress over things undone?

I would love to hear from you. Your feedback and ideas are important to me.
Let’s share these ideas with others who may benefit.

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